Why You Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough: 10 Tips to Deal With It
Have you ever felt stuck in life and like you wanted to try something new but then thought you didn’t have what it takes to make the change?
If that sounds familiar, you’re in the right place.
Not only is this article about how to overcome that feeling of I’m not good enough; this whole site is dedicated to helping people like you build up the courage they need to change their lives and get unstuck.
And that entails helping you believe in yourself and trust that you have what it takes to reach your goals.
If you still don’t have the skills or the knowledge to make your dreams happen, something’s still for sure: you can learn and improve.
So, let’s start tackling that I’m not good enough feeling.
First of all, I want to tell you that you’re not alone. You’re not the only one who feels like you don’t have what it takes to make your dreams come true.
You’d be surprised by the number of people that find making a career or life change a struggle due to their insecurities or not feeling good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or charismatic enough.
I was one of them, and that’s why I started this blog; to share everything I learned on my path towards a new career and a more confident me.
Nowadays, I’d say that not feeling good enough is one of the top reasons why people stay stuck in life and come to me for advice.
What’s interesting is that no matter what you’ve done or achieved, you’ll probably deal with these feelings at some point.
The worst part?
Feeling unworthy will keep you stuck unless you understand where that feeling comes from and what you can do to overcome it.
And that’s exactly what this article’s about.
When you lack the confidence to go after what you want because you think you’ll fail at it, you never take the leap.
If you think you’re going to fail at something, then what’s the point in trying it in the first place, right?
10 Things You Can Do to Stop Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
1. Focus on being better than yesterday
Instead of comparing yourself to other people.
How do you do that?
Well, I often talk about setting small goals to help yourself get unstuck.
But to do that effectively, you’ll need a mindset shift.
It isn’t about thinking you need to set huge goals because you suck or want to be better than someone else; it’s about doing it out of love for your present and future self.
An excellent exercise you can do to focus on being better than yesterday is reflecting on the things you want to improve each day.
During your morning journaling session, think about things you did the day before that you’d like to stop doing or get better at.
And then make a list of every possible which you can be better next time.
Just by reflecting and writing about it, you’ll start internalizing it art improving.
2. Don’t believe everything your mind tells you
Not everything your mind tells you is true.
Here’s the thing:
Your mind is like a catapult throwing thoughts your way.
Some of them make sense; others don’t.
Some of them are well-founded, others aren’t.
However, it’s possible to get so used to taking (consciously or not) your thoughts seriously that you don’t even challenge them anymore.
But there’s a higher consciousness above it that can observe those thoughts and let them go without engaging with them: you.
You can learn to tame your mind and distinguish between what’s true and what’s not.
That’s easier said than done, of course, but it’s possible, and it’s one of the main ideas you can learn from The Power of Now.
To start fighting that fear of not being good enough, pay attention to your thoughts and the things you tell yourself when you make mistakes or do things right.
Meditating and practicing mindfulness every day will help you notice thoughts like:
- I’m the worst
- I suck at this
- Why would anyone trust me with this?
- I succeeded at this only because I was lucky
- Setting goals is a waste of time; I’ll never get this done.
Transforming these thoughts into something different and positive takes time, and it’s something the Beliefs & Mindset Workbook can help you do.
By catching these negative thoughts and becoming more aware of them, you’ll start challenging your feelings of unworthiness.
3. Stay true to your definition of success and happiness
Don’t let anyone tell you what happiness or success looks like.
For some, success is building a multi-million-dollar company.
For others, it’s simply getting out of bed in the morning.
What’s your idea of success?
What does “successful” mean to you? How does that translate into your own reality?
Stop letting someone else’s idea of success dictate what you should aspire for.
4. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others
If a friend told you about their dreams, would you tell them they suck and they’ll never be able to achieve those dreams?
I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t.
So why do you keep telling yourself you’re not good enough to do what you want?
We’re all about being kind to others, but sometimes we forget we must be kind to ourselves too.
From now on, treat yourself as if you were your own best friend:
- root for yourself
- encourage yourself
- comfort yourself when you’re down
- tell yourself I love you, and I believe in you
- trust yourself.
The Beliefs & Mindset Workbook includes great journaling exercises that’ll help you work on the inner beliefs that make you be so hard on yourself sometimes.
And the Self-Talk & Self-Confidence Workbook will help you tame that voice inside your head that tells you you’re not good enough.
Check them out 🙂
5. Be intentional about your goals
Striving to improve helps us develop and grow; that’s why setting goals is so important.
But it’s not enough to set goals just because; you have to be intentional about it.
If you feel disconnected from your goals, find your why and the intention behind them.
For example, if you want to leave your current job for a different one, ask yourself what about the new job makes you feel excited.
Putting intention into everything you do will help you feel more confident about your decisions and, ultimately, yourself.
Whereas working on goals with no real intention behind them will make you feel frustrated and even disappointed.
6. Keep a log of your wins, no matter how small they may seem
Whether on the notes app on your phone or in a small ‘success’ journey, it’s always important to remember the good things.
Writing your wins down will help you internalize them, but it also acts as a great reminder that you can do your job or succeed in life when times get tough.
Plus, it can help you focus on progress instead of perfection, which will improve your self-confidence and help you get unstuck in life.
7. Practice gratitude
Research has shown that practicing gratitude has many positive benefits, including:
- Improving your mental health,
- Helping you get rid of toxic emotions
- And even improving your brain’s health.
On top of that, it’ll help you focus on the positive rather than the negative, which applies to the world around you and yourself.
Be grateful for the things your body can do and for the things you’ve accomplished.
Show gratitude for your intelligence and your ability to learn.
Reflect on your days and what makes them great. Ask yourself:
- What went well, and how did I feel about it?
- What am I thankful for in life?
- What do I have that other people wish and pray for?
You’ll develop a much more positive outlook on life by consistently practicing gratitude.
8. Know yourself better
You may feel this way because you don’t know yourself and what you’re capable of.
So, it’s essential to take the time to get to know yourself better and understand your:
- dreams
- passions
- fears
- boundaries
- aspirations.
Working on building a connection with yourself and all those things will help you stay grounded and focused on what matters to you.
The Self Discovery Bundle can help; it’s a collection of journaling prompts that’ll help you:
- understand yourself and what you want
- process your feelings
- uncover what you want in life
- feel more connected to your goals and dreams
- and more!
9. Practice journaling
When you struggle to focus on the positive, journaling can help you challenge your negative thoughts and focus on what you can do to get where you want to be.
When you feel stuck in life, it can often be because you’re disconnected from yourself, and journaling can help you stay in touch with your:
- feelings,
- thoughts,
- and desires.
By practicing journaling, you can start uncovering what’s happening inside you and staying true to what you want.
10. Design an achievable plan to get where you want to go
A personal development plan or a dream life plan can show you how to become the person you want to be and if you’re dealing with feelings of low self-worth, it may be exactly what you need.
When we feel discouraged, unmotivated, or feel like we’re not good enough, turning to our development plan can help us move forwards.
4 Reasons Why You Believe You’re Not Good Enough
You may still wonder why you’re feeling this way, so here are four reasons you might be dealing with feelings of unworthiness.
1. You lack self-worth
Low self-esteem contributes to that feeling of why am I never good enough and can permeate every area of your life.
For example, you may be stuck in a toxic relationship because you think you’re not good enough to find something better.
And then, believe it or not, you end up doing the same thing with your job, for example.
You think this is all there is, and you settle for it.
Have you ever thought about getting a new, better, more exciting job only to get discouraged by your thoughts telling you this is all you can aspire to be?
That’s good old lack of self-worth right there.
The worst part is that it can have a snowball effect.
When you feel like your strengths are worthless, you’ll find yourself slipping up on the smallest things you know how to do well.
And that creates an endless cycle of:
- feeling you don’t have what it takes
- sabotaging yourself
- using your own mistakes to prove that you’re not good enough to do whatever you wanted to do in the first place.
2. You’re part of a toxic environment
One of the most prominent indicators contributing to these feelings is the environment you’re part of.
From working conditions to your social group, they all affect how you see yourself.
By surrounding yourself with people who pull you down, perhaps because they don’t have the same dreams as you or lack the same ambition, you’ll feel dragged down because they’ll always have something negative to say.
Take a look at your work or social groups and ask yourself:
- Are these people actively trying to help me?
- Do they support my dreams?
- Do I feel empowered and motivated when I’m around them? Or do I feel pessimistic and discouraged?
Pay attention; the people you surround yourself with may be contributing to your feelings of not being good enough, whether they’re aware of it or not.
3. You haven’t healed your childhood traumas
Parents hold a huge role in our lives, both positive and negative.
According to a theory called attachment theory, if you weren’t loved unconditionally for the first seven years of your life, then you’ll experience feelings of:
- anxiousness,
- unwantedness,
- and a lack of trust as an adult.
And that can cause feelings of unworthiness.
Picture this scenario for a second:
A parent wants their child to do well in music.
They pay for tuition and purchase music equipment, only to feel disappointed that the child doesn’t want to do it.
Those negative feelings that the parent exhibits spread onto the child.
You start to feel as if you let your parents down, that you’re not good enough.
All of these aspects of childhood can later develop into feelings of low self-worth.
Does any of this sound familiar?
If it does, doing shadow work journaling can help uncover what’s going on and see if you’d benefit from seeking professional help to get through it.
4. You suffer from imposter syndrome
Imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like a fraud.
For example, you’ve been given a promotion to do a job, and your first thought is, Why the heck did they think I deserve this or am capable of doing this?
No matter how successful you are and how many diplomas you have to prove your knowledge, imposter syndrome will always make you feel like a fraud.
It will always make you feel like you’re where you are only because you’re lucky or cheated in some way.
And believe it or not, it affects us all at some point in our lives.
Some characteristics of imposter syndrome include:
- Inability to assess your skillset
- Being overly critical of your performance
- Anxiety and self-doubt
- Setting unrealistic goals and becoming disappointed when you don’t achieve them.
The Bottom Line
There are many reasons why you may feel you’re not good enough.
But the important thing is that you’ve started to recognize this and want to find a solution, and that’s progress.
Trust me, that’s more than many other people do about it.
Feeling you’re not good enough is stopping you from doing exciting things like:
- Changing careers
- Improving yourself and your life
- Pursuing your dreams
- Setting life goals for yourself.
So, be brave, and don’t let your negative thoughts control your life.
Get out there and get busy.
Nobody else will achieve your dreams for you.
