I strongly believe you can learn how to build self-confidence from scratch and I’m ready to teach you how to do it.
According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology self-confidence means:
a) self-assurance: trust in one’s abilities, capacities, and judgment (…)
b) a belief that one is capable of successfully meeting the demands of a task.
Being self-confident is the ability to trust we’re capable of doing something, no matter how big or small.
It is knowing you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone but yourself.
Self-confidence is what takes us from feeling inspired to actually getting started. It is the force that propels you to tackle challenges and face resistance when it comes to getting hard work done.
We tend to believe people who are self-confident were just born like that. We think they have an endless list of qualities that make them feel like they own it.
However, that’s far from the truth.
Being self-confidence is a skill, not a personality trait. And that means you can BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE FROM SCRATCH.
I’m the living proof of that statement. I went from being the ugly, outcast teenager in school to becoming a conference interpreter in three languages.
And today I want to share with you my tips and tricks to build self-confidence from scratch.
Keep in mind this is not an easy process.
It may take years to build consistent confidence, but you can totally fake it till you make it and if you start applying these tips on a daily basis, you’ll start seeing improvement very soon!
How to build self-confidence from scratch
Find your fuel
Find that one thing that makes you want to overcome your insecurities.
What’s that goal you want to accomplish? What’s that dream you want to bring into reality?
Write it down and have it somewhere you can see it.
Remember that if you don’t do it yourself, nobody will do it for you, so you better start working towards it.
Some people say motivation is BS, and I mostly agree. You can rely on it to complete complex projects, but you can definitely learn how to motivate yourself to START and build momentum.
Stop caring about what other people think
I know, I know… it’s easier said than done.
If you really care too much about what others think and you can’t seem to get over it, think this:
“I care a lot about what they think, ok, I can use that to my advantage. If I don’t perform well, they’ll think I’m stupid, right? Then be the best I can do is to be the best I can possibly be at this one thing so they start liking me more.”
This is just a trick to get you started. Not a philosophy of life. It’s just a little mind trick you can use to start climbing out of the pleasing-others hole.
It can get you off to a good start and then when you start accomplishing little things, you’ll build your own reservoir of small wins that’ll help you feel more confident with time.
Embrace your uniqueness
You have a unique combination of experiences, personality traits, looks, jokes, tastes, knowledge, desires, and goals.
Embrace them. That means fully owning it.
You’re a full package of things and you’re not getting rid of every single one of your flaws, so you better start coming to terms with it.
And while you’re doing that, embrace the good things as well.
Dr. Seuss — ‘Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.’
Be aware that big things are made of tiny little ones.
If you dream big and want to accomplish something that seems impossible, start off with small actions that can take you there.
Want to lose 100 pounds? Start by walking around your neighborhood for 10 minutes. The next day, walk for 15 minutes instead of 10.
If you start small but keep increasing it on a daily or weekly basis, imagine where you’ll be in one, three or six months!
Keep track of your accomplishments
I’ve talked about the wonders of journaling before and one of those wonders is that journaling can actually help you build your self-confidence every day.
Set 10-15 minutes a day to think about what you’ve accomplished so far.
Remember there’s no such thing as “unimportant” accomplishments; list things that make you proud, things you achieved thanks to your efforts.
Is it anything you’ve done that amazes people in some way or the other?
Or is it your resilience, your patience? Is it how smart or inventive you are?
Think about it and give yourself a good round of applause every day.
Exercising can not only give you a lean body, but it can also teach you more about yourself than anything else in the world.
When you’re serious about exercising, you start pushing your limits and breaking your own records, which is, for me, the best confidence-builder you can find.
Therefore, if you still haven’t included exercise as part of your daily routine, I highly recommend you start doing it.
Don’t be intimidated by it and remember to start small if you’re not used to it.
On the other hand, if you’re used to it, increase your reps, intensity, you name it.
Push yourself and you’ll soon be rewarded physically and mentally.
You might think self-confidence is just a personality trait: you either have it or you don’t.
Somehow we tend to see people as they are now and to ignore the process that took them there unless we know them very well.
So it’s easy to get caught up on this mentality that people who walk around with their shoulders back, smiling and owning their conversations have been like that since they were born.
And yes, there are people who are confident since they’re very young. But it still a skill. Some people develop that skill before others, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done when you’re older.
The most important thing about this topic is this: self-confidence is a skill like any other.
Again, you can build it little by little. Start today!
Let me know in the comments below what’s your go-to method to boost your self-confidence.